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Daily or quite probably thri-daily rambles
Sunday 26th October
Well here I am once again after a long time and quite frankly
not a great deal has been going on.
I aim to come and update a bit more frequently. My plans include
a teaching page, more travel things, photos and more babble. But I need to write something and there is no inspiration. Ho
hum.
Elephants and Castles Sunday 21st Sept
Apparantly it's called
that because of some Spanish/French thing that noone could pronounce and it ended up being the Elephant and Castle which is
nothing to do with either of the original things and therefore I think it should all be changed to Llama and Tassle. I would
definitely live there then.
I was walking along and looking at car registration plates the other day as I frequently
do to see what silly names I can find and I thought I saw onw that said "MOP"...but it didn't...it was "MDP" but because I
am quite blind without my glasses on I mistook the d for an o. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking because I think about
my mop all the time. I was in the newsagent's yesterday buying my bus pass for the month so I don't have to worry about always
having change handy and I saw a few mops standing in a bucket. They made me grin. I'm sure the little lady thought I was quite
mad. She then started babbling about cheap phone cards and demanded to know where I had bought mine and how much I paid and
she scared me so I ran away. I also came away with a one pound plastic ring/bracelet set thingy in green. Just like the ones
I already have in navy/black...
I am getting a tad annoyed with the G again since he keeps downloading loads of crap
onto my computer without asking. It also seems that we are never allowed to listen to my music or watch what I want to even
though it's my stereo, dvds and dvd player... Yes, I know I am sounding petty. Also he calls people and stays on the phone
for hours without ever once asking me if I wanted to go online or call anyone myself because by the time he has finished it
is usually too late to do any of it. Still, he has a job now and I am hoping that as he wil be out more we will get on better...except
that he will just say, well you've been home most of the day so it's my turn now...We must get broadband soon!
He dragged
me out today. I was not in the mood for shopping at all but it was easier than him sulking. But now he is moaning that I made
him spend too much money. I told him to go alone next time since I actually can't afford the four pounds tube fare when I
only have ten for the week and I don't want to shop. *hisses a little*
What else has been going on since I last wrote?
I got a letter from the psych hospital I was in a few weeks ago and they sent me follow up crap with my diagnosis of Borderline
Personality Disorder. The thing is it does sound like me...but also like everyone else I know. I want something different.
Something more concrete to go on. I'll take two things if I must have the BPD. I see the man in two weeks and will discuss
things further. I still want to take K with me as she is much better at talking to them than I am.
I am so fed up with
being hot. What is the weather doing? Someone make it stop! I want it to be cool. Not cold, just cool. Or at least give me
more breezes...
God might be my walrus
My
washing machine is making worriesome noises at me today...I have been told that this is a sign that it wants to leave me but
I have crossed my fingers and eyelashes and am praying to the Goddess of Clean Knickers that this is not so.
Again,
school was fine. I enjoy that I only teach two hours on Monday and Wednesday and can just run away home and play at 11.30am.
Of course, sometimes I worry myself as I ran away, did the grocery thing on my way home, cleaned my room and then sat down
and got all excited at making worksheets and posters...Shoppng also becomes a nightmare as I always see things and think "that
would be nice for my classes" and spend too much money on them. It would be nice to switch off from that sometimes. Which
reminds me..I must phone that man and get the literacy pack from him.
I'm still trying to get my appointment time changed
with the pdoc as I really can't afford to take the time off work and nor do I want to ask for it so early on. I want to go
and not want to go and I want to go to the gruop therapy they want me to go but not. I am hoping that it will reassure me
that I am not the most crazy kitten around even though that's I feel most of the time.
I have lemon yogurt today and
I like it. Would you like to lick my spoon?
The people in charge...
They do like to babble, don't they? I had a three hour induction
thing tinight for my new job where they just babbled about restructures, funding and a lot of other crap that didn't apply
to me...But they did give us Perrier and nice sandwiches so all was not lost.
I have been assigned 18 hours with the
Chinese people...tomorrow I will be told which level I have for the morning classes but in the afternoons I have a group of
pensioners and we sit around and have tea or go to the post office. It seems very relaxed there. They said I can take my classes
when I want to, or send them out on a mission while I go to have breakfast...and basically I can do whatever I want as long
as I can justify it with an ESOL Curriculum objective. I also agreed to do some evening classes with random beginner refugee
type people and I will be able to recycle lesson plans for them so that's fine.
This is what I will be doing at certain
times in the week...
Monday 9.30 - 11.30am beginners/or the less than beginners class (same all mornings)
Tuesday
9.30 - 11.30am 12.30 - 2.30pm pensioners 6.30 - 9pm refugees
Wednesday 9.30 - 11.30 am
Thursday 12.30 - 2.30pm pensioners
6.30-9pm refugees
Friday 9.30 - 12.30
I also get to take a class myself and I am debating between the Chinese (which
I am not sure I can fit in anywhere), a creative writing one and a counselling one. I must look at the timetable more closely
and see what works. I think I should take advantage of a free course and qualificfation.
I bought a bottle of coke
today and as I was strolling to the bus I took a sip and it tasted like China. Not China itself but it took me back to being
in China. Tastes can do that. I do like China.
And the girl behind me on the bus threw up today. I have bad luck with
buses it seems.
Tuesday in September
I cheated and copied a few random bits from my journal...oh well.
sue me if you want to.
Employed partly at any rate. A man called me today and surprised
me by telling me that my info had been passed to him by the people who interviewed me on Friday and they were very impressed
and he wants to give me a little job teaching Chinese people in Soho for a few hours a week. He is going to call me tomorrow
to give me more information about it all and I hope will tell me ho much I shall be paid for this. It's not many hours a week
but it's something to distract me I suppose. And I am happy that it is a job I know (in my saner moments) that I can do and
enjoy. And it will hopefully lead to more of the same. We shall see.
I had odd dreams last night. I remember two of them. The first
involved me going to live somewhere new. I think I was moving into halls or something but I had two rooms and didn;t know
what to put where. I was talking to Carolyn, who I haven't seen for years and she was very excited about starting a new course.
I wasn't so keen on another four years of education but I did have a duck. It was quite large, black and white and had just
had an operation. I carried it around on a cushion. I loved my duck
I am watching Friends for the zillionth time and I'm not sure
if it is just because I have seen it so many times or if my eyes are weird but Rachel's head looks too big for her body. She
reminds me of a pin. Sometimes when I am lying in bed I feel like I am a pin. Does anyone else get that? Do you know what
I am talking about at all? I feel like a pin. Maybe this is what I should tell Mr. Psychiatrist...at some point remind me
to tell him about the dissociation too even though that hasn't happened for a while.
Today I slept a lot. I seem to
be doing a lot of that recently. I also did two loads of laundry but stopped short of ironing. That would be conclusive evidence
that I am crazy. I tried to be good to myself today. I had a face mask, shaved my legs and other bits properly... want to
feel? I took a long bath but there were no bubbles because I don't have any bubble bath...I also gave myself a tiny haircut.
Once again, I stopped myself from being exactly like the crazy women in films who hack away at their hair.
I've had
enough babble now and I'm sure you have too.
August 29th
In Roman times, people used to use a sponge tied to the end of
the stick to wipe their bums... hence the saying we now use... to get the wrong end of the stick...
I went shopping with my sister today, even though I have no money
but mother gave me £20 for my birthday so I decided just to spend it anyway...
I bought a pair of black trousers for
£7, a pair of purple knickers, 1 pair black knickers and somehow wasn't charged for my top, which should have been £7 too...
My sister was annoyed because a) I found all the bargains and b) didn't have to pay for one of them
I also then bought
a sparkly hair thingy, a lipstick called 'choc' but it doesn't taste of chocolate and a cover up stick thing.
That's
the most shopping I have done all year! Yay!!
I know I have more to babble about but no time right now. I will do
so before bed...
I tried to buy a packet of mint things from a vending machine.
First, I just couldn't get my money to go in and it just flew out onto the floor, where I simply stared at it until Gavin
picked it up and put it in the evil machine. Why do they make these things where one has to balance the coin and then puch
a huge metal thing in with the risk of the coin at any moment unbalancing itself? Next I had no idea how to get the wrapper
off my little mint box - there was no little red string to pull or anywhere that said 'open here'... so after turning it around
a few times I handed it to Gavin. He unwrapped and then watched as I puzzled over how to get my mints out. He was also puzzled
as there was some new fangled thing happening, that we obviously missed whilst away in other countries, where you just push
the bit that says push and a tiny little mint pops out. Now I know how to work it I am quite impressed. But it is little wonder
I cannot get a job if I cannot cope with such basic things, no?
Oh...and I got jam and tea and a purse and a handbag
and a keyring and chocolate from mother and also a silver letter opening thing from the uncle *hisses*. It is quite sharp
and may make a good stabbing implement. I could just say I fell over while opening the mail??
July 29th
Today I painted a snail.
july 5th
we have been blogged. yes, you may now read and even comment on one's doings. i can't promise they will be any more frequent
than they are here but you could kick me and make me do more. yes? yes! also if you hadn't noticed the guestbook had decided
to make a reappearance so do pop along and add your mumbles. the blog is here https://bluemothy.tripod.com/llamas/ and there will be a link somewhere else too. do come and see me!
Monday 16th June
i haven't been very good at keeping you up to date with my life have i? no. but...yes, you
knew there was a but coming it wasn't really my fault...i do now have a computer that lets me see pretty much everything i
want to so i am back! not that anyone really cares i suppose but still. it will give me something to do each night. so, what's
happened since i last wrote? um...
I came back from China, took the trans mongolian railway to moscow and came back by bus...you
may read an account of this in Galavanting.
I'm not going to stay long tonight because i have jobs to apply for, sleep to find and blood
tests in the morning...
tuesday january 14th? maybe. do you know?
well. it is a teusday at least. officially wednesday but
the early hours of and therefore does not count because there has been no bed yet. i have nothing to report although a mild
rant about work and a housemate is possibly forthcoming. but not now. now is for being here just because i can be evrn if
not for long. off i scamper.
january 11th 2003
I'm here! I am. really. i know you don't believe me but look!
I am typing, I have typed by the time you read this. and this is all for now. just popped by to give the pages a few mugs
of affection...
are you here too?
Sometime after Xmas
well, lets see what we have here. Christmas and all its festivities are over, passed by
with little ado. Only a small ado on the eve. A small ado and several bottles of wine and beer. The day of Christmas eve turned
out far better than expected due to snow and ice and other cold things, which meant no travel to the school a billion miles
away and no nativity play performance however, Saturday is now the designated day for Mary, thats me, to give birth to a monkey
and for the shepherds to enter singing Im a shepherd with a leopard. What splendid fun that will be. So, the day passed in
a state of back to bedness, a brief lunchtime interlude and then a 2 minute shower before joining the esteemed faculty of
our superb language center for a rather poor feast, belly dancing with a snake and wine. The Jazz Bar followed where one proceeded
to drink more and one was known to have little boogie also. A rare occurance in public but with a new found friend of some
European variety one was swung around by the knees. One came home 8 hours later, too drunk to call the parents or to do much
else. The morning resulted in a head that squeaked ouch and a mouth that felt like it had eaten the broom. A quick trip to
the kitchen for water and a pill was followed by more sleep. After lunch one discovered that she had managed to obtain the
phone numbers of three, yes, three people. All girls. Now someone tell me Im not mad in thinking I should have had guys numbersLunch
meant getting dressed and leaving the house in -11 weather, a slight queasy feeling and the desire to go back to bed. So one
did. The evening jollities consisted of paying an extortionate amount for the priviledge of eating turkey on Christmas day.
Beer was included in the price but one could not manage more than a small glass. All was well on the return to ones house
although the telephone had done a disappearing act. Ones housemate was unimpressed to be woken up to ask if she had the phone
in her room when she too was confused as to its mysterious disappearance. The mystery was solved by a quick trip downstairsthen
there was giggling about a round flat, a cage in the non corner and a roundabout in the middle fully equipped with bunk beds,
petrol and G the dragon. And then there was sleep. Again. Boxing day brought no boxes, just a ferry, a frozen glass of coke
in the sitting room and some teaching, which one has to say was not upto any kind of standard. Now it has become Boxing day
in the evening and there is to be a short wait for the laundry and then another time in bed. About time too, I say.
Weds 30th oct
See? I came back. I said I would but I do have nothing
to say today so it's just a short visit. I added to mumblings and bumblings...that really is about the most interesting thing
I've done...
Tues, Oct 29th
Goodness. It has been a long time. again! I do apologise,
little 'today' bit. I will probably be arrested for neglect soon. But...it's not my fault. Really, it isn't.
What can I tell you? I'm in Cheena. Now, call me lazy
but I can't be bothered to type everything again so after a little copy and pasting we'll be upto date...
So, for those that don't know, I managed to spend an
unexpected day in Copenhagen on my way to Beijing. Twas super. It's very pretty and probably very expensive but i have no
idea as the whole kroner to dollar to pound thing baffled me entirely. i just handed money over...
Happy Thanksgiving
(late) for all those from Canadia. I must say i had a jolly nice time last night celebrating it even though i am not, nor
ever will be canadian. Mike took me to a lovely restaurant and being as stubborn as a gherkin jar lid, he has in typical mike
style refused to let me pay for anything. (i give mike's place 5 stars and a moose in a basket)...Anyway, the food was lovely,
the wine flwe as alcohol has flown rather freely as always woth mike since my arrival....for some reason, there were wax crayons
on our table which pleased me greatly given that we also had a paper table cloth....much fun was had doodling whilst we listenede
to a blue's band play (who weren't really blues at all). The little chinses saxophonist was the most miserable saxophonist
i've ever seen and only perked up (read as bobbed his head a few times and foot tapped) once given a drink and a straw with
which to drink the drink with. I too, had a straw in my drink but i was already perky. I also entertained the waiters by making
chickens out of the napkins...
Beijing is certainlly much more pleasant in the autumn than middle of summer. One bonus
that this time of year brings is that one can breathe...and sometimes even see blue skies through the dirt. Evening walks
have been most enjoyable, seeing all the little people outisde, enjoying a jar of tea and playing cards...
I've been
to mike's classes with him and am itching to get my own set of students to play with, however, i shall play some more first.off
to qingdao tomorrow and then hope to go to yantai for the weekend...could this be my last day to enjoy real cheese??
so,
i am now in qingdao, home for the next 6 months. the area where we live is beautiful...2 minutes from the beach and it is
really warm and sunny here. almost sunbathing weather!
my room is much as i expected with 3feet of damp on one wall
but nevermind. it is mine and i like it. it's bright and sunny,it has the essentials and i bought a stereo today which means
i no longer sit in silence.
I started work yesterday. (which was in fact, last
week)What fun that was! Pick up at 7.30am, take a ferry across to one of the islands. Teach at the Experimental Elemenatry
school (sounds dodgy to me! . The good thing is that classes are 35 minutes here but we still get paid for an hour...the
principal went out and bought medicine for me because I had a cold and was losing my voice after the second class. She also
gave me a bag of oranges to take home. Bless her!  This is how to live really cheaply in China...just mention to someone at school that
you need medicine, fruit, a heater etc and the next thing you know they've rushed out and bought it for you...I'm trying for
a hair dryer next!
Classes are generally disorganised, with no planning so you just have to turn up and do something...I
need to talk to Sandy more about me doing her job because this is no way to teach...
At the weekend I went to
Yantai (hence my non attendance here). It was so lovely to see old friends...I didn't expect so many people to turn up but
they all did, all made me drink and Kevin took me to dinner, ordered all my favourites even though he doesn't like them so
much...It was weird being back though. Yantai has changed so much. All my favourite restauranta and shops near the University
have gone. There is just grass now. Fair enough, they were all falling down when I was there but noone asked me if this was
ok!
The bus journey back was possibly one of the worst I've had. Basically Chinese peopel do not pay attention to any
road laws. They whatever the hell they like, and crossing the road here is evil. You just have to go and hope for the best.
They won't stop for you, there's traffic coming from all directions and so i usually try to latch onto a Chinese person and
do what they do as far as raod crossing goes...
My journey was 4 hours back..the first hour and a half went quite smoothly
and then it all went a little bit wrong...I was sitting at the front and so had a wonderful view of the driver who was texting
rather than looking at the road. The next thing I know we almost crash into a makeshift bollard type thing...From my wonderful
seat I then got a full view of the man on the ground behind the bollard, the bus that was hanging over the edge of a rather
deep ditch type thing... a bus just like the one I was in...so that's accident nunber 1. I won't go into details for numbers
2 and 3 but they were pretty grim. *shudders*
***blips***
that's all folks. I'll come back tomorrow to give you
the next installmenat and maybe even a random babble. would you like that? would you? bless...
Friday 20th 1.14am
A group of crows is called a murder.
so as for sleeping last night, that
was a total disaster. Stupid toothache kept me awake despite taking painkillers pretty much every hour (i know, i know...very
naughty of me). Also took 2 sleeping pills and nothing! Why???
I did go to see the dentist yesterday, who said because
I hadn't been for 4 years, I couldn't have an emergency appointment and the earliest they had( because I would have to be
reregistered) was the end of October. Well, that's no good to me!
so today i saw a dentist who
took x-rays, who said whoever had done my root work hadn't done agreat job and my options are to a)have the tooth out
completely leaving me as miss gummy, b) try to find someone who will re-do the work before i go away and pay an extortioante
amount of money of it or c)just eat the penecillin and see what happens but chances are when in China the pain will come back
and that won't be good.
So, I took the drugs for a few days thinking time and then I will have the damned tooth
out as i can't afford to pay for work and getting an appointment won't be easy either. Ho hum.
And because of all this
tooth stuff, I had to not get my bus to London today but instead will get the 0325 one down tomorrow so I make it there in
time for the careers fair thingy which was the purpose of my trip.
Why didn't they invent teeth that don't cause problems??
But in reality all of this happened
yesterday.
Sunday 15th
Not much to say today. Added some poems to mumblings...
Children were here all afternoon. I never want any
of my own.
I need a wee.
Saturday 14th Sept
Again, haven't been here for ages. Had a lovely time
in Bristol with L, a good weekend with G and have also since then spent a week in Scotland, seen old friends, met new ones
and apparantly become shorter since the jeans I bought before going away are now much too long for me when they fit fine
at the time of purchase...
Have just about recovered from the illness, have no
money and right now no great desire to go to China...ho hum. What to do?
Weds 21st August
A few technical hitches have meant I haven't been able
to get here much...
So, let's see. A quick update...
Aug 9th arrived back in the UK and parent's house
Aug 10th was ready to leave again...
Aug 15th went by without much ado this year
Aug 21st has me getting ready to go and see L and then
spend the weekend with G, This is pretty much all that has made me smile in these 2 weeks. I can't believe it's been less
than 2 weeks since I said goodbye to G at the airport..it feels like MONTHS!
This house seems to suck any energy, creativity or inspiration
I may have had, right through my ears and out into the dapple raspberry moonhills...I've tried to write so many times but
either all I can do is write random words such as pants or mulberry house or i get interrupted by a father ( actually
THE father, MY father, not just any old father who happens to be in my house - which doesn't happen all that often I mght
add) and just as has happened here, I get all confused and lose my train. Well, it gets diverted not really lost...
I must go to find something for the father to eat for dinner,
feed and walk the dog...
*skips away with half a squiggly fairy cake*
6.50pm
I am back. Just for a few minutes before I run away again
to cook . All the way back from the shop ( I say ALL the way, which makes it sound like a long way when in fact, it is only
33 seconds walk...) I thought about what I wanted to write here...and now I am here and I can't remember what I thought was
so important for me to say...
Hmm...oh well. today I booked my ticket to China, got a
wonderful deal and will be jetting off once more on Oct 9th....until then I shall have to find ways of filling my time and
if I could be earning a little money whilst doing it, that would be splendid.
That really is all from me for today and for the next few
days, which I hope are spent in a drunken stupor somewhere in Bristol...
Thursday 8th August
Seems we haven't been here for quite a while again.
Well, I am here now. I am also in the malaysia. The Kuala Lumpur to be exact.And quite frankly neither ne nor my nostril are
overly impressed with it.
There is an ITCH! There are bed bugs and cockroaches
and rain and smells and noise and dirt and right here it's about -33 degrees C....there is such a thing as overdoing the airconditioning...
And when we go outside there is a brightness and a sweatage
and people...
Going home tomorrow...eeek. scary but not. Not yet quite
real either.
So, i left Japan finally but the relief is mingled
with a slight sense of loss, sadness and uncertainty about the future and so one begins to wonder if staying with
something familiar is indeed not better. but here confusion sets in as we are going back to what is most familiar i.e. home,
family etc....surely if we are looking for familiarity this should be enough? or is that we dont know what will make us happy,
that we are destined to go from job to job, place to place without ever being satisfied. And thats a scary thought, that this
could be as good as it gets, this year where i've been so up and down, so much not wanting to be there/here.....blah. i dont
know. want to be home now but within 3 days I'll wish i were back in japan...
Hmm....14 hours in which to ponder all this whilst in that
big tin bucket in the sky...
Thursday July 18th?
position of sun - on my nose
letter - R!
lies told - 57
My R came back! I missed my R! The Z has it's R and is not lonely anymore.
I had to tell my school how much I'd enjoyed working with them today...lies! all lies!! And tonight I have an enkai...yippee.
I have to make a speech to tell them how much I love working here...
the urge to write comes and goes. Right now, it has gone.
I think we'll just cancel July 16th. There's no need for a day like today at all. Or maybe someone in Mongolia would like
it. Though I wouldn't wish it on a poor little Mongolian. I may just give it straight back to my kyotosensei and shove it
up his ass. Wouldn't that be fun?
Bad day at work? Oh yes. Just a little communication would be nice. Is that too much to ask for? Apparantly so.
The world is NOT wagging it's tail. It looks decidedly bedraggled.
15th July
13.20, rain, sleepy & sniffly
And so, the weekend passed with not so much a hop,skip and jump but a vodka, an uncomfortableness and a babble...
1. Have there been truly happy times here?
2. Has there been justification for being unhappy here?
Am neither here nor there and life isn't moving forward, nor even backwards, just in circles...this isn't where I was meant
to be at this stage. But where was I meant to be? Maybe this is what I was meant to be doing...everything happens for a reason...it
doesn't mean that we have to know or understand that reason. Or like the reason...
Friday 12th.
That's a pretty ghastly colour I chose yesterday. It's not the kind of colour you want to look at with a hangover...I have
to say I didn't especially want to look at any colour this morning. Didn't want to admit to being alive.But the eyes were
opened to a stupidly bright and sunny day. Wandered around the flat in a daze, squinting and trying to work out how socks
worked. I soon realised that the entire problem was not with socks, but with me leaning down and the world trying to spin.
It just wasn't a good idea. I asked it to stop but no, it was pretending to be the nurse. You know. The bitch. The one with
the pills.
So, I got through my one lesson of the day feeling as though I were about to keel over at any moment...noone noticed a thing.
I thought about calling in sick today but really that would have caused too much hassle to warrant taking a day off. And could
I really justify having a day off for self inflicted suffering? I mean I did it all winter. I managed everyday in this state.
Oh well. I really ought to make use of my sick days though.
*offers socks to all*
The sock farm must close. We can't possibly take them all home. Please eat them. Roast socks with a side dish of fresh bra...
Suddenly a wave of dehydratedness takes over...must get w a t e r...if only we were like camels. Ok, if a camel doesn't drink
much, does that mean it doesn't have to wee often too? If that is the case, I want to be a camel.
Thursday 11th 9.28am
cloud - 3.7
temperature - cold
weather - typhoon
So, it has rained solidly for about 167 hours now. Well, ok, that's a slight exaggeration but it must be at least 37 hours.
And so I am sitting here in wet clothes, cold and with a sniffle...
This afternoon I have a leaving ceremony to attend with the Board of Education people. Do I really feel like sitting through
2 hours of speeches? I think not, either. Oh well, nothing I can do about it. I have to go and that's that. In the process,
I can get soaked again on the way there and then on the way back to school too...yay! I love spending the entire day in wet
clothes. Stupid country.
Gah!
Wednesday 10th July
11.59am
Well, it seems we're on the edge. On the edge of a typhoon. This would explain the relentless rain we've had since about 4am.
Things can only get worse though.
I was coming home on the bus yesterday which itself is nothing unusual and it was crowded, again normal...a young couple caught
my eye though. As she sat down on the edge of his seat he put his arm round her waist and gave her a cuddle. It was so natural
and yet unnatural. It's not something you see often in Japan - from my observations they don't seem to be a very affectionate
people - and whilst it made me smile to see that, it also made ne feel incredibly sad and lonely. I don't know, it's not so
much affection I'm lacking - I get plenty from G - more wanting to have that special someone there...and knowing who I want
it be and not being able to have that someone - probably never can. And someone I probably never should have...
Tuesday 9th July
headaches - 0
money - limited
brain - buried in the plant pot
sleep - need a nap
People don't nap here as they do in China. NOt in my school anyway. If only there were a little room, hidden away, where I
could go and lie down for the rest of the afternoon...
There is much confusion today. One - the job thing. I know what I'm doing next. I have a plan. I have a contract. Why then,
am I looking for things to keep me in the UK, when I don't want to be there? Or do I? Maybe I do. I would like to have something
familiar for a while but I want the ideal job where I can work as and when I please, get paid a lot and go travelling when
I want to. Now, even I know that is not going to happen so I may as well stick to my plan, go and teach, see China again (from
there visit Vietnam, Cambodia and Korea) and try to do some writing as and when the mood takes me...Who am I trying to convince?
I must keep remembering the tax man. That is the whole reason why I have this plan to begin with...TAX MAN.
k, the other thing I'm confused about is how can you want two people at the same time?In slightly different ways. I guess
at the end of the day, it makes no difference. I'll end up with neither most probably.
Hmmm? Any thoughts?
well now, what do we have here? It's a Monday. We don't really like Mondays.
8th July.
I'm sure there is a birthday around here somewhere. I just don't quite know whose or when. It could be Dave. 10th maybe? I
miss him. Off driving trucks into the sunset and not writing to me...Should you happen to read this, write to me or flipper
bee may cry...
head - acheth
sleep - minimal
rain - 3
classes - 1
dreams - yes
had funny dreams last night. Funny smile dreams not funny what are you on dreams...don't remember exactly but there was one
which involved a bishop running around my house, which was a hospital and obviously I lived there since my bedroom was there...anyway,
the bishop was running around in his purple skirt sticking up posters but I don't know how since he appeared to not have any
tape or blutack or any other sticking stuff...think the posters were about abortion but can't quite be sure. I was creeping
after him with J from WoM taking them down, we bumped into Meep who was whittering on about sunbeds...and then there was being
swept away by the tide and G telling me he was going to Boston for the weekend...not sure where that bit tied in with any
of the rest.
Suppose I'd better go and see what my students want. Not in the mood for English club now. Not at all. It's not even the right
time for English club...back later to rant and rave about stupid, immature, judgemental people who think they are so much
better than the rest of the world...
Ok, can't be bothered with talking about petty minded people anymore. Just one last thing - if you're reading and you know
who you are - Fuck off. You are not better than me despite what you may think. You have no right to judge me.
That's better. Just had to get that out. Phew. Now we can return to normality. Random. weasel. There was a shoe on my pen.
The umbrella put it there because the hat was kissing the dictionary...
It's Sunday. Is it? Already? What have you done all weekend? Nothing. Nothing much. Nothing? You must have done something...Well,
yes. I cleaned and I packed. Why? Why is that man there again? Just mowing and disturbing the peace. It was bad enough he
was here this morning, woke me up...the grass does not grow enough in 8 hours to warrant you doing this again. It's just noise
and it's unnecessary.
Friday 5th July 10.05am
status of brain - present but sleepy
caffeine - 2 of them
sticks smoked - 2
hayfever - present
Look! I'm here again! Two days in a row. Quite a shock to the system really...Of course now that we are here we doin't know
what to write...
So we'll do this instead -
I see the computer screen
I hear the whirr of the computer, voices outside
I taste chocolate
I smell coffee
I feel sleepy, a little melancholy
...
might be back later
11.53am
well, here I am with 2 observations - firstly there is a HUGE daddy longlegs sitting next to me and secondly out of nine teachers
in the smoking room, all nine had green lighters. That takes me back to the red cars in Bristol.
Thurs 4th July
12.43pm
weather - warm & sunny
cloud - 5
caffeine - none (why?? That's not natural)
Dortmunds - 1!
Yes, I have a Dortmund. Now, you may well be sitting there, eyes crossed, mind boggling and wondering exactly what a Dortmund
is...*holds up Dortmund and shows*....all clear now? Yes, thought so.
What is a Dortmund? All answers in an inbox please via the contacteth thou can thingie.
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned...It's been a week since my last confession...
Not much to confess to quite frankly. My life needs some powerful Seoul, a red sock, a helicopter and a spare egg. Anyone
remember Simon Mayo's breakfast show with the confessions bit? Or am I just showing my age now? When I have a confession to
make it will be spectacular. None of this petty "I stole my best friend's pen and drank the ink" type stuff... More along
the lines of "I am your father, Luke." *swish,hiss,lightsabre noises*
Early July resolutions -
1.Update this 'Today' bit more often
2.Drink more coffee
3.Stop making lists of things to do and actually do them
That's enough resolutions. Same as there are enough crows in this godforsaken country. Crow, squawk, glare, crow...that's
all they do. Oh, and peck their way through steel rooves (roofs or rooves? I like the sound of rooves but it looks all wrong)I
really can't see myself keeping these resolutions for more than a day...
There has been a touch of bounce in one's step today. We are not sure why after being as miserable as a broken spinning wheel
for the last week or so. We know we have not had enough sleep, we know we are doomed to spend the rest of this month in solitude
and we know we have no money to take our sorry little elbows shopping...we shall not complain though. Merely ponder the whys
and wherefores of bounciness. Is it the moon? Is it the shampoo? Is it the umbrella?
Well, must skip away to join the real world for a few moments now.
*pokes your left eye*
Don't squeal at me!
Thurs 27 June
14.31
Haven't been here for a while, have I? There was a rather long moment of complete lack of motivation to do anything except
sit and stare at the screen. It's all because of the dry spell. And if you think I'm talking about the weather, well, you'd
be very much mistaken despite all Japanese people thinking we Brits do nothing but sit around eating cucumber sandwiches and
discussing the weather. Weather wise it has been un-dry in fact.
So, let's see. What's been going on. Mum is still convinced I am going to marry G - just wait til she hears that he wants
to come to Poland with me in the summer...
Work has been as busy as a dead bee. Today was amusing though as I got to observe and evaluate a student teacher. Bless her
she did well considering. The main problem was that it was an English class and um...not much English was spoken. That is
where Japanese teachers of English go wrong. Do they not realise that a fundemental part of teaching/learning English is to
actually use it in the classroom?I have also had 3200 yen deposited in my account for a business trip I didn't go on...
I have plans. Plans for everything (except actually packing and getting stuff shipped home. All we can manage to do there
is move things into different piles). We have decided we want to write. Now we need to convince people to let us write. Ho
hum...
Should really go and work on other parts of this site too...off I scamper. oh, and don't forget - mice have teapots.
So....all we seem to be doing today is sneezing. Whoever said that sneezing 7 times in a row gave you an orgasm is very
much mistaken. Either that or has a very different idea to how an orgasm feels than I do. All it's done is made me tired and
irritable and use my supply of kleenex. And given me itchy eyes. GRRR.
Has anyone watched the film "Sweet November"? Don't bother. It started out all wrong and quite frankly I'm not sure if
the scriptwriters knew what they were doing or even which film they were making.Was there a plot? There were many different
plots. It seemed to go on for 14 hours and one was quite disturbed and felt a tad violated by the end of it. All I wanted
was something funny. Funny it was not. Odd-yes.
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